How to Release Feelings

Most of us carry around a lot of repressed feelings. Usually the feelings we repress are not the good ones, either.

Our first tendency when confronting something unpleasant is to phone a friend, turn on the TV, have a beer...do anything except experience the unpleasant feeling.

The trouble with this is that we cannot really repress a feeling. We can ignore it, but it will still pop up at inopportune moments. When trying to drop off to sleep, we remember the unpleasantness. When someone does something to remind us, we overreact.

Ignoring or repressing feelings also takes energy. If we repress a lot of feelings we can tie up a lot of our energy in avoiding them. This is energy we could spend being productive, having fun, getting some exercise, having relationships... And, some of us have a LOT of stuff to repress. It accumulates.

The solution is simple and it is something most of us know how to do. The solution is to feel the feelings and release them. No matter how bad a feeling is, it is actually easier to feel it than it is to ignore and repress it. And, once we feel the feeling, it tends to dissipate.*

When we were young children, most of us felt our feelings and released them. Later we became aware that certain feelings were problematic. Not only did we learn not to express them, but we tried to avoid even feeling them.

Try this:

Become aware of your body; hands, feet, arms, legs, torso, neck... Be aware of the entire body. The body is where feelings register. Notice if you feel any discomfort in the body. Maybe your neck is tense or you have a twinge of discomfort in your chest. Breathe into the spot that you feel. Relax it and let the feeling dissipate. Repeat this several times with different sensations that you notice.

Next, consider something fairly minor that has been frustrating you. Scan your body and notice what you feel. You likely will notice a pang, a tension, a catch or a pain. Just feel it. See what it's like. Is it sharp? Is it dull? Is it big or small? As you notice things about the feeling, you may find that it has dissipated and you can no longer feel it.

If you can still feel the feeling, you may have picked a frustration that was too major for the above exercise. See if you can release the feeling. You can imagine it flowing out of your body, or you can consciously relax that part of your body until the feeling has let go. When you have let go of one feeling, see if there is another feeling associated with that frustration. If not, go on to another issue and see what feelings you have in reaction to that.

Repeat this for several minutes. Even 10 - 15 minutes of this exercise can leave you feeling lighter and better. The trouble with it is that it seems too simple, but if you persist for 15 minutes for a few days, you will feel much better.

There are entire courses with protocols for feeling and releasing feelings, if you want more of a structured practice with this. The Sedona Method book and course include this and more. In The One Thing Holding You Back, Raphael Cushnir outlines another method.

*If your feelings seem too big and awful to feel, or the feeling exercise does not give you some relief, get professional help. This is not meant to take the place of professional counselling or medical help.